What "they" say about Loot: "Quantum's whereabouts are currently unknown following his pursuit of the pirates. As for Woody: he has been seen at the Texas Hold'em table and appears oblivious to his partner's absence." -- excerpt from the field log of Agent Helmsley "The Caribbean cruise was another of Woody's ideas.
I don't even like boats. If I did, I would've enlisted in the Navy instead of the Army." -- Eric Henderson a.k.a. Quantum "The most exciting parts of my day are when I beat Garcia at gin rummy. Now this sexpot agent tells us there are superheroes and pirates roaming the boat and it makes my security watch worth while." -- Janey, midnight to 8 shift "The athletic one has all the personality of a stale slice of chicken jerky, and the loco one has the tongue of a (translation unavailable)." -- elderly Cuban woman "Of all the trouble we ran into, my least favorite part was when the tone-deaf guy sang a song that reminded me of my ex-girlfriend. I threw up in my mouth a little." --Woodrow van Chelton "So be it if we ruin the heroes' aar and aar." -- Captain Cragg Meanwhile, Vincent van Goat suffers a mild case of indigestion.